Oh, to be a Submissive

There is one thing that as a Dominant I miss - that is the ability to not have to be the decision-maker. Submissives have all the fun. They don’t have to be the heavy when someone has to be reprimanded; they don’t have to make decisions; they don’t have to decide what type of play they are going to do this time. All of these responsibilities are the Dom’s.

    Damn, I miss those days. I sometimes hate being the Dom leader where I’m responsible for the decisions of not only my family, but also within the community. Sometimes I just want to tell people where to go and where to stick it!!

    But then again, I’m a type of person who has to be in control. This is one thing that got me in trouble all the time when I was a submissive. I was trying to control things when I shouldn’t have been. This always got me in trouble. Yep, trying to top from the bottom is NOT a good thing. Always got me in the dog house (literally!!).

    So why do I miss giving up control?? Why do I like being in control?? Two very different questions, with two VERY different answers.

    Giving up control: I miss someone else being the responsible one. It’s a royal pain having to be responsible not only for myself (which is required regardless if I was a submissive or a Dominant), but having to be responsible for those who I play with. Having to keep control so that the others are safe. There are times where I hate having to be the decision-maker.

    Having control: Ooo, I LOVE being the one in control. The one who makes the other person squirm with pleasure. The one who gets the say and everyone else has to do it. The ability to command my submissive and they have to comply. It’s a huge thrill for me.  

    So although I miss the sub world, it’s nothing to compared to the Dom world. So what if you are a controlling person who likes to occasionally have someone else be in control? You might ask, “Is there anything wrong with that?” My answer is no. If you want to on occasion have someone else in control, find someone you trust and let them have at it with you.  

    A good example of this is in the following story. A female co-worker was in New York and she and some friends went out to a Dominatrix Bar.
    Now bear in mind, this is a tall beautiful woman with legs up to here!! She wore the cute leather outfit I had helped her find. She no more walked into the bar and three guys were at her feet begging to go home with her.

    What she found out about almost all the men in the bar, is that they were corporate CEO’s, attorneys, day-traders, and the like. All of them in control at work on a day-to-day basis. But what they craved was having someone else in control.

    So yes, all of us have some little bit in us that wants to have someone else in control. So yes, I LOVE to be in control, but I do like to have someone else be in control once in a while. But THAT comes with a price!

    So if you want to take a walk on the submissive side of life, please come get involved with us. It’s an experience you will never forget. BUT . . . always make sure it is someone you trust. If you need to know who to trust and who to stay away from, please come talk to someone at WOOLF. WOOLF meets every third Saturday at The Center of Wichita at 6pm with class starting at 7pm.

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Marcia McCoy, Ph.D.

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