Don't play when you're sick.

Editor’s note: This column may contain content that is offensive to some people.

I tend to write about things that happen to either myself or someone I know. Well, this one’s about me.
    For those that don’t know me, I suffer from frequent migraines, but unlike most people when I have a headache, the pain makes me hard, which in turn makes me horny. Don’t ask why, I just am.
    However, when the migraine is to the point where I’m nauseated, then that’s the time I want to curl up in a ball and for everyone just to leave me the f&*$ alone. Well, flying back from Indy this last month, I had one of those nauseating headaches. But the problem was I had to fly out and I had to be at the airport. So there I was, feeling like crap, I had tossed my cookies and I just wanted to find a dark place to wait it out.
    However, as I was sitting there holding my head, telling my stomach to hold on, I happened to see a man in skinny jean shorts with the biggest box I’ve ever seen that’s legal in public! I looked at the crotch, then to the hairy legs and then up to his face and saw that perfect beard and I was WOW, headache or not, WOW!!
    So naturally I HAD to cruise him.
    It wasn’t until I got home and was lying in bed trying to get rid of the massive headache that I thought, "WHAT on earth were you thinking?!" In the shape I was in there was no way to have airport sex in my condition. (If you don’t think you can have sex in an airport, think again, there’s ALL sorts of ways, believe me. I’m a charter member of TASS [The Airport Sex Society]).
    Which brings me to the topic at hand, when you’re not feeling well (for whatever reason) and especially if you are physically sick, you do NOT and you should NOT do a scene. When your headspace is “Oh crap, I feel like crap,” it’s going to be really hard for you to get into the scene headspace. Believe you me; the two don’t mix well at all. I’ve seen too many times where someone was not feeling well, but they were intent on having a scene only to have it go very badly wrong.  
    This brings me to other times you may fall into this issue. Yes, there are times of stress where having a sex scene will help, but there are also times depending on the type of stress where it’s not a good idea to have a scene.
    So what I want to point out here is WHERE is your head before you negotiate a scene? Look at what’s going on in your head. Is it something that you can’t control (physically or emotionally) or is it something where the scene will help to get your mind off of what’s going on. Be honest with yourself. Too many couples have gone their separate ways because one wants the sex and the other just gives in even though they really aren’t into it.
    I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand someone you just lays there like a dead log while I’m trying to have a good time. I want some action and interaction from them! A good moan or two would help!! Sex has always been a give and take between two individuals, so if you’re not in the mood to give or to take, then don’t. Talk about it to your partner. Let them know what’s going on, why you’re not “into” it this time. There’s nothing wrong with that.
    And the partner, just because you’re in the mood doesn’t mean your partner is in the mood. When my partners have had a bad day, even though I’m all hot and ready, I know it ain’t going to happen. Just have to hold out for another time.
    If you are interested in learning more about the kink lifestyle and especially about leather kink, don’t hesitate to come inquire about it. WOOLF normally meets every fourth Saturday at 5pm at Boomerang for a monthly munch. Then we have a class later that same day.
    For September we will meet on the 17th at 5pm with an electric play class following. Come join us for a shocking good time! l

28-Feb-18 14

Marcia McCoy, Ph.D.

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