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Mama Knows Best - May 2017

Mama,
What do you think of all these bombings? Worry Wart

I think that we might be heading for big trouble. Darth Cheeto is the wrong person to have access to weapons. The only good thing to come from his leadership is my ability to realize Eunice is a good smart person. He makes a rock look smart. God help us all.

Dear Mama,
I want to hear your thoughts on the United Airlines incident. Curious

Well good Lord, what kind of idiotic company even allows such a process to begin with? What in the hell is wrong with this world. We have a leader always golfing and dropping bombs and airlines that can take away your seat and drag you off a plane with injuries. That damn plan is not that great! The seats are too small and close together and they are too expensive! This world is in BIG TROUBLE! You cannot say Mama didn’t warn you!

Mrs. Harper,
Do you get those annoying phone calls about reducing your college debit or lowering your rates on your credit cards? Not signed

Those damn phone calls are more annoying than hemorrhoids on a bumpy road. I hate those calls because it is always a new phone number they call from. I’d like to make a law banning those kinds of calls and Darth Cheeto from the world. The calls are as frequent as that orange idiot posting on Twitter.

Mama,
Big plans for Mother’s Day this year? Someone’s Child

I probably have a family dinner with my kids and grandchildren, that I will have to cook, clean up after and serve! But I am not complaining, besides who knows if we will make it to Mother’s Day with that bad hair, orange-head, moron running things.

Cucumber Sandwiches

1 carton (8 oz.) cream cheese
2 tsp ranch salad dressing mix
12 slices pumpernickel rye bread
2-3 medium cucumbers

In a bowl, combine cream cheese and dressing mix. Spread on one side of each slice of bread (both slices if you feel frisky). Peel cucumbers if desired; thinly slice and place on six slices of bread. Top with remaining bread. Serve immediately. Yield: 6 servings.

Thanks for reading my column. Happy Mother’s Day! l

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Marcia McCoy, Ph.D.

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