Five retrograde planets - Pluto, Jupiter, Mars and Mercury - rumble our world this April. Expect out of control actions, general mishaps and a host of craziness through the month. Life will certainly not be boring. Try not to become an April Fool . . . or just embrace it!
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 20)
Your safe and predictable job may shift in its foundations this April, gay Ram. If you have been preparing for a change, this movement will feel comfortable and empowering. If you have been merely warming your seat, this may come as a big surprise. Whatever happens, the cosmos always gives you what you need, whether you agree or not. Let’s all now agree.
TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21)
Any Taruean who decides to set off on a grand adventure will find one now. And it will be big, unexpected and possibly out of control. But you are up to whatever the fates deliver. The secret to your ultimate success is to proceed as cautiously as you can and maintain your practical sense of perspective. Then step out and grab the world by the tail. Or is it your tail, queer Bull?
GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21)
Pink Twins find ingenious ways to turn their nest into a love nest this April. And why not? You are hotter than ever . . . or at least you think so. And you have an insatiable appetite for love. Try to catch yourself in the mirror for a quick appraisal every so often to be sure that the sexy “look” you want is one that you have. Oops - is that spinach I see in your teeth?
CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23)
Honesty is always the best policy, but this month, if you want to clear the air in any important relationship, compassionately lie just a little bit. Partnerships are more volatile and emotional now and any seemingly innocent (and maybe even warranted) criticism will be blown out of proportion. Let your loving actions speak louder and prouder than your words now, gay Crab.
LEO (JULY 24 - AUG. 23)
Is your value system open to re-interpretation, proud Lion? Are you headed where you want to go? All these questions bubble up this April and may make you feel a little lost or off track. But this is a mirage and not the true reality. The fact is that you are very much on course and know where you need to go. Let your worries wash over and off you. Then rub-a-dub.
VIRGO (AUG. 24 - SEPT. 23)
Anything you do or say, no matter how quiet and uncontroversial, will push you into the center of all of the attention. You have some great ideas, but will need to carefully craft them for your audience before they go viral and out of control. There is no way you can remain anonymous, queer Virgo. So mark yourself in the mirror and prepare for your big entrance. Hubba hubba.
LIBRA (SEPT. 24 - OCT. 23)
Expect some surprises around your house this month, proud Libra, as hidden things bubble up to the surface. Could there be a broken pipe? Or a home renovation project running amok? Anything is possible. So if you have the opportunity to just relax and enjoy your surroundings, do so. Try to put off any big to-dos. Well, I guess you can try to do that . . .
SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. 22)
You may think that you can be direct with friends now, but I say you should hold off on any tart commentary around them this month. Gay Scorps are usually strategic and careful with their words. But now the planets conspire to put your foot in your mouth. Be nice, be caring and be quiet around pals. There is time to tell it like it is in the summer.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 23 - DEC. 22)
As much as you may want to ramp up your career and make lots and lots more money, anything you try this April may be much more trouble than it is worth. Maybe it’s because your career opportunities are changing and transforming. Gay Archers may need to take a close look at where they are to stay current with the times. Or maybe it is time to plan an early retirement?
CAPRICORN (DEC. 23 - JAN. 20)
Pink Caps with a personal cause or gripe fight will find that their battleground goes international. Are you ready to go public with your grievances? If not, stay low and quiet while issues swirl around you and wait for a better time to pounce. Be strategic and careful. The people you meet now can benefit you in the future, but you want to make the perfect first impression.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. 19)
Your secret admirer could turn into a stalker. Well, maybe not that extreme, but you may not know the impact you have on certain people. But there is nothing to worry about, Aqueerius, as long as you are lovely to everyone and diplomatic among even surly critics. You may even be recruited to run for political office. In that case, run . . . in the other direction!
PISCES (FEB. 20 - MAR. 20)
Will you be tempted into a tempestuous affair with a close pal this April? It is probably not a good idea because anything involving relationships and friendships now could be a bumpy ride later on. Be jolly and fun-filled, Guppie, but keep things light and airy. There is plenty of time to get serious and sexy later in the year. For now, be too cool for school.